Random moment of gratitude

On Wednesday morning I stepped off the Sleeper from London, enjoyed a bit of breakfast banter with the girls serving in the cafe in Glasgow Central, then took a cold, crisp, sunny walk through Kelvingrove Park to Partick and the Inbhich gu Fileantas Gaelic Group.

On the way, I took a few pictures of this beautiful city in the winter sunshine and had a moment of rather profound gratitude. Chances are I would have come up to Glasgow for Celtic Connections anyway, but I came up two days early to attend the Gaelic Group. Had it not been for Gaelic, I would have missed out on all this. And a lot more besides!

Beag Air Bheag - The Broadcast

So... following on from the entry about 'Learner of the Week',  the interview itself has now been broadcast! Don't worry if you missed it, here are a few links for you:

To play the entire programme (Series 3, Programme 9) click on this line here. The interview on the finished programme is split into three parts, and you can hear this at 01:54, at 18:18, and at 52:12. This link and timings are correct until 10/1/16.

Or you can download the podcast by selecting Series 3 Programme 9 from the page clicking this line here. Interview timings may change as the music gets cut from the podcast.

Or, if you're REALLY REALLY bored, you can listen to the entire 26 minutes of interview (which was not broadcast in full due to time constraints) by clicking on this line. 

Needless to say, when it was broadcast on Sunday night I was very, very excited and more than a little bit nervous.

It is at this point I digress to mention a bit of TV work some friends of mine did. They were approached by a downmarket TV company and asked if they could be filmed to make a programme about caravanning. Some of my friends agreed, thinking it would help promote a pastime that they enjoyed.

What happened? About 20 hours of footage was edited to a preconceived agenda and it portrayed everyone in a really, really, bad light. If they said 98% good things and 2% daft things, the 98% of good was edited out, and the 2% daft was left in, to sensationalise the subject and portray the people involved in a negative light. Exactly the same footage could have been edited to produce a completely different portrayal. It was trash television at its worst.


My interview with Iain for Beag Air Bheag lasted about 35 minutes. Again, this could have been edited one of two ways for the 10-15 minutes that was finally broadcast. A cheap sensationalist who wanted to make me look stupid could have taken out all the good bits and left in all the pauses, stutters, and mistakes.

However, I was absolutely delighted (and more than a touch relieved) that the interview had been edited as kindly and as sympathetically as possible, editing out some of the massive clangers and stutters, and leaving in the bits that make me sound like I actually know what I'm talking about. If you listen to the full 26 minute interview, you'll hear that I'm nowhere near as fluent and correct as the 'final cut'.

*****

It wasn't just Beag Air Bheag and the lovely people on the team there that helped pull me out from being down in the dumps where I had previously spent a couple of self-pitying weeks, not feeling the love for Gaelic.

I really thought that the last entry ('What goes Up...') would attract a couple of comments such as 'Oh stop moaning you self-pitying whingebag!' but there was nothing of the sort. All there was in response was kindness, support, and - sadly - thanks from other learners. It seems that 'bad days' affect most learners and the fact that nobody else seems to undertand can make us feel a wee bit alone and isolated.

I guess part of the challenge is that many Gaelic learners are learning remotely by distance learning. As such, there does not seem to be anywhere to turn for support when the going gets tough. This can especially be a problem for those whose friends and family do not support their Gaelic endeavours. I think there is another blog entry to be made about this at some point in the future.

But right now I am still basking in the warm glow of being part of a great radio programme which I cannot rate highly enough. Resources for 'upper intermediate/advanced' learners are scarce, and Beag Air Bheag is a terrific and much-needed asset.

If you fancy playing a part in the programme, you'll be treated with kindness and respect, and the experience is one of the best things that will happen to you on your Gaelic journey. Iain, Fiona, and Calum who work on the programme are absolute stars. Without Gaelic, I would never have met them. Just think about that for a minute. Without Gaelic I would never have met these and many other lovely, lovely people. If that isn't reason enough to enroll on An Cùrsa Inntrigidh at Sabhal Mòr Ostaig right here and now if you're not already learning Gaelic, I don't know what is. 

I'M RICH!!!

The past couple of weeks have brought a few ups and downs in my Gaelic journey, but tonight we had a bit of a Eureka moment.

Changes and improvements can happen so subtly that you don't notice that they are happening. Sometimes, we are so obsessed with what we don't know, we forget to focus on what we do know.

I suddenly realised that I am very, very rich. No, I haven't won the lottery, and a part-time job as a train guard is never going to see me trade in my truck for a Range Rover.

Let me explain... Over the past six months or so I've been toiling away at the Gaelic, but this has been made easier thanks to resources like 'Beag Air Bheag' podcasts, watching entertaining programmes like 'Fonn Fonn Fonn' on BBC iPlayer, and enjoying the Look@LearnGaelic Videos on the smart and refreshed learngaelic.net website. My 'caraidean-cànain' (study buddies) whom I try to Skype as often as possible have been a true source of help and support.

Over the past couple of weeks I have really upped my game... I have something 'big' to aim for which happens next week, and I will tell you about that very soon. Suffice to say that with the help and support of my caraid-cànain MR in London, I've been doing tons of work on my spoken Gaelic. I've been expanding my vocab and just doing simple stuff like learning stock phrases to questions that people are always going to get... where I live, why I am studying Gaelic, what I do in my job, and so on. It sounds so simple, but one thing I had not yet done was to invest time in learning 'stock' phrases until they became second nature. OK, the 'second nature' thing has yet to come, but we are getting there.

This work, and the fact I've had a bit of grief (haven't we all) with the Anti-Gaelic Bigots recently, made me stop and take stock of my Gaelic journey. And that is what has bowled me over completely.

'What has Gaelic brought into your life?'

Oh. Mo. Chreach. I've just stopped, thought about this, realised the richness it has brought, and I am completely blown away. Where do I start?


Music - So much wonderful music I would never otherwise have discovered.

Friends - loads and loads of new friends. All there to learn new ideas from, help widen my mind, and to support each other.

Culture - Poetry and song, live music and stories. Real entertainment from people with passion and talent, not being strapped to the telly like a brain-dead force-fed zombie.

History - Still early days for me, but history is starting to come to life and actually mean something.

Geography - That deeper understanding and appreciation of the landscape when you are in the Highlands and Islands, and the place names coming to life.

Being part of something special - Gaelic is not the easiest language in the world to learn for many reasons. It's not common. So to learn it is actually something quite special and helps form a strong bond of understanding with other learners.

Having something to say - Being at a party or meeting new people. They are all talking about their jobs in the city, the football, or how they like to do DIY at weekends. You have a story to tell about Gaelic and your journey...suddenly everyone is interested. They may not understand, they might think you're a bit bonkers, but they are interested.

A safe haven - In times of trouble and crisis, Gaelic can sometimes be an anchor, a 'safe place' where you can immerse yourself for a bit. It's consitent, it's grounding, and it's not going anywhere.

Self-belief - That feeling when you realise that you have just conversed with someone, even if it was just saying what a lovely day it is. You did it!

Being a part of the bigger picture - Every single person that learns Gaelic, at any age and to any level, is contributing to the momentum of getting the language back into the mainstream.

Hope for the future - Nobody, not even the best fluent speaker, knows it all. Gaelic is a bottomless well of riches and you will never use it all up no matter how much you try. For me personally, that hope translates into the possibilty of embarking on an Honours Degree; something I have never before acheived, and something that I never thought I would ever be able to do.



That 'Eureka' moment hit me tonight when I was asked to talk for five minutes - in Gaelic - about 'Gaelic and me'. Of course I made mistakes, but I could have talked for far, far, longer.

The journey with Gaelic, as I said earlier, is one of ups and downs. But when you are on a downer, take a moment and consider the richness it has brought to YOUR life. Me, I am absolutely blown away by it.

Come out of the closet!

The nervous teenage boy enters his parent's sitting room.

'Mum, Dad, I have something to tell you. I'm Gael.'

Mum bursts into tears. Dad gets angry.

'But...but why son? Was it something we did? I KNEW we should never have had that holiday in Barra in 2009.'

'It's just the way I am. I've been surpressing it long enough, and I can't hold back any more. I'm Gael.'

Mum dries her eyes. 'I should have guessed. You left your computer on once and I saw you'd been looking at dirty websites like learngaelic.net. I've heard you listening to 'Beag Air Bheag' podcasts through your headphones. I even found those disgusting magazines under your mattress. Yes, those Sabhal Mòr Ostaig course notes and prospectuses from those 'weekends away' when you pretended you were going to the city with your mates to get off your face on booze and drugs and end up in trouble with the Police. But they were all lies weren't they? You were sneaking off up to weekend schools in Skye, learning the Gaelic, playing the fiddle, reciting poetry, singing songs and other such disgusting behaviour. How could you? HOW COULD YOU?'


OK, so this is all a bit tongue in cheek, but I'm prompted to imagine this scenario by two separate thoughts.

First off, it's to help my own understanding of why someone from the South East of England feels such a strong affinity with the Highlands and Islands, and Gaelic, despite the lack of roots. Well, sometimes strength of feeling cannot be explained logically, it just IS. Think of the men and women 'trapped' in the 'wrong' bodies. Transexuals are often ridiculed, but I for one think that you'll not find a a stronger and a tougher band of people. These folks have such a strong feelings from within that they are prepared for the mental and physical battle that lies between the gender that they are born with and the gender at which they will finally be at peace. As someone who is very happy in my own skin, I don't really understand it, but that doesn't mean to say I don't respect and admire these folk. Live and let live and celebrate diversity.

So while I'm happy with my skin and who I am, I often feel like there is a Gael deep down inside me busting to get out. I don't understand it, but am taking on the tough battle to let it out. Thank goodness I don't have to go through painful surgery or psychological analysis.

Just like the transgender man living as a woman before the operation has to endure the jibes and sneers of the mob, the Englishman learning Gaelic has to endure the thinly-veiled racism of the anti-English brigade. References to the 'Auld enemy,' 'the Bad Side of the Border,' and far, far worse will always serve to remind me that I am alone in a place where people hate the place where I was born and brought up. Yet, rather than give it all up, us English folk learning Gaelic just have to shoulder it and get on with it. Yes, there are many aspects of English Culture, History, and Politics about which I am deeply unhappy, but that doesn't make me as an individual responsible for any of them. As for History... well, so much of that is placed in a romantic light by dreamers who forget about one crucially important factor, and that is context. Dreamers and romantics refer to historical events in a modern-day context, which skews fact and interpretation.  Do I hold my German friends accountable for the destruction of my corner of the country and the loss of life 100 and 75 years ago? No. Do they hold me accountable for Dresden and the like? No. We shall never forget, but we shall also move on.

As for 'coming out of the closet,' it still amazes me how many Gaelic speakers hide their language and culture. Of course, Gaels are notoriously polite, decent, and modest folk, and their lack of arrogance and selfishness is one of the main reasons that I find the whole culture so utterly amazing and wonderful. However, this in itself brings additional challenges for the learner.

Let's look at our friends in the Gay Community. A generation or two ago, even the most placid and peaceful men and women were faced with no option than to be vocal and visible. It was the only way to get their rights to be who they are accepted and integrated into wider society. There is still some way to go, but things are moving in the right direction. A generation or two ago, if a train driver announced he was gay in the messroom it could have ended in his being ostracised and cut off, excluded and lonely until possibly he ended up on a downward spiral. I say 'he', because women didn't drive trains then. Nowadays, if a train driver announced that he or she was gay, it would be about as exciting and controversial as what was on the menu at the staff canteen.

What has this to do with Gaelic? Well, there is just so much of it in the Closet, and that makes it difficult for the learner and the would-be learner to find it being used in everyday life. Bigots will always put down minority groups because bigots are ignorant, and ignorance promotes fear. Ignorance means that they don't understand it so they try to kill it. When cultures and lifestyles are dragged out into the open and life doesn't end because of it, ignorance gradually fades.

Right now, the only way for somebody to learn Gaelic as an adult is to do it through some kind of a course. Ùlpan is the least academic course, but these courses are few and far between, and they never seem to be consistent or structured in their occurrence. The only clear courses with a clear progression path are the academic ones, at Sabhal Mòr Ostaig in Scotland and a few other colleges and universitites in the UK.

However, on social media I have been following a few Gaels who are disparaging towards the 'academic' approach to Gaelic. It's true that when you're at Sabhal Mòr, you are surrounded by people who have the time, brain power, and financial means to devote to an Academic Course. It is a luxury not everyone can afford, and in a chat with other students, we voiced concern that Gaelic is becoming a Luxury Language for the Middle Classes.

But what are the options, when Gaels refuse to speak Gaelic outwith people they know?

I am on a bit of a personal mission to find Gaelic outside the classroom. I have searched for homes or farm stays where guests can stay for a week with a Gaelic-speaking family and pick up what they can. So far, I have not found any such thing. I am sure that there are many farms, B&Bs, cafes, and other social places where Gaelic is spoken, yet this fact is never advertised. Just like some places are 'Bikers Welcome' or 'Walkers Welcome', howabout a scheme where 'Gaelic Spoken' is used in marketing? It would make life a lot easier for us intermediate learners who are looking for opportunities to consolidate all those words and grammar that's jumbled about in our heads into real-life sentences outside the classroom.

I have found one - just one - B&B where Gaelic is not just spoken, but it is promoted. That B&B is on the Isle of Lewis, and tomorrow I will head on up there to check it out. When I phoned to book and spoke Gaelic to the landlady, she never once reverted to English, even when I struggled. Now THAT is the kind of thing I'm looking for! Stay tuned and I'll tell you how it goes. 

Ceòl is Cianalas (Music and Longing)

Norrie Tago, Leòdhasach from the fantastic group Mànran

This is another one of those entries where I try and clumsily make sense and justify why on earth I'd want to be learning Scottish Gaelic.

The embers that start many learner's Gaelic fires are bourne of Trad Music. Gaelic language is indelibly entwined with Gaelic culture, of which music is probably the strongest element.

Way back in 2011, on what must have been my third trip to the Outer Hebrides, I remember distinctly asking the nice lady in the Arts Centre in Lochmaddy for her recommendation for a CD to listen to on my long, sorrowful, tearful drive home to Dover. She recommended a Cèilidh CD from Skipinnish, so I duly contributed a few more of my English Pounds to the Highland economy (take note, Gaelic Haters) and duly jigged, sang, and cried my way home.

Two songs established themselves as my favourites - 'Air an Tràigh' (On the Beach), a jaunty interpretation of a Runrig song, and the hauntingly beautiful ' 'S fhada leum an Oidhche Gheamhraidh', (The Winter Night Feels so Long to me). I know not the singer who gives us both of these beauties as she sadly isn't credited anywhere, but all I can tell you is that she has an exceptionally beautiful voice.

I liked these two songs so much they became backing music to my 'Hebrides Video' that I made that year, which you can see by clicking here. 

It took 18 months after buying this CD before starting to learn Gaelic. It took almost two years of learning before I could sing along (badly) with 'Air an Tràigh', happy that I could translate the lyrics and get the gist of it.

Meanwhile, I started this blog and in an earlier entry tried to explain and justify my reasons for learning Gaelic. After taking the plunge and 'putting it out there' on Twitter, I was delighted to receive some positive responses. One such response was this one:

'You may appreciate this: Bith cianalas air Leòdhasach ann a neamh. Google it.'

Google it I did. It lead me to this entry from a fantastic blog called 'The Croft'.

Click on the link and there you'll find a succinct interpretation of the non-translatable word 'Cianalas'.

In a loose, clumsy, superficial kind of a way we might say 'longing' or 'homesickness' in English, but it doesn't convey one iota of the emotion and heartache of 'Cianalas'.

Meanwhile, I revisited that hauntingly beautiful song, 'S Fhada Leum an Oidhche Gheamhraidh. It's a song sung by someone displaced from the Isle of Lewis (possibly a victim of the disgusting 'Clearances'?) who longs for the home she will never see again. There are no Cèilidhs on the empty prairies that now surround her.

The last line of the chorus (which is just 'Faili faili...') is:

'S cian nan cian bho dh'fhàg mi Leòdhas'

With a deeper understanding of 'cianalas', and therefore the meaning conveyed in that last line (you see the word 'cian' implying a distance almost that is spiritual as well as physical) you can at least begin to understand the depth of emotion, sadness, and longing that the English words 'It's far away terms of time and spirit and longing since I left the Isle of Lewis' fail to convey.

Such depth and beauty simply cannot be expressed in English. This, my friends, is why we simply cannot lose Gaelic, and is another reason I'm doing my little bit to at least try and keep it alive so that it may thrive again in days to come.

Why is an Englishman learning Scottish Gaelic?

'What on earth are you doing that for?' is normally the first question I get asked when I mention I'm studying Scottish Gaelic.

Deagh cheist (good question) as they'd say in Gaelic. After all, I am from Dover. I still spend most of my time near my family in Dover. I have a day job in London. I have absolutely no Scottish Heritage whatsover, at least not since as far back as the mid-1850s, which is as far back as my family tree goes. Apparently there was a bit of a to-do and a hoo-ha with the housekeeper masquerading as a wife or something, so it all went a bit fuzzy and unaccountable. We forget that everything that goes on today went on then. It was just looked upon differently and covered up (for better or for worse) as much as possible.

So no. No Celtic blood in these veins whatsoever. Cut me open and you'll get chalk from the White Cliffs of Dover, not peat from the Isle of Lewis.

So...why?

SENSE OF PLACE

I love, absolutely love, the Outer Hebrides. In fact, I love the whole of the Highlands and Islands, but especially the Western Isles. Without going into too much detail, I find a sense of peace and 'groundedness' in the Outer Hebrides that I fail to find elsewhere in the world. It really is 'my' special place. The landscape of the Highlands and Islands speaks Gaelic. Not just the signs and the place names, but the hills and the beaches. Learning Gaelic while continuing to live and work Down South provides me with a daily tenable link with the place I dearly love.

CULTURE

Everyone mentions this one. Gaelic culture is jaw-droppingly rich. The language, music, traditions, and stories are like an eternal onion; you can just keep peeling off layers and layers and finding a new one underneath. Unlike the uncultured yoof of the mainstream UK who adopt Vacant Consumerism as a way of living and have absolutely no clue where they come from, younger Gaels all seem to share an intense bond with their roots, their history, and their heritage. As a result of this, I never cease to be amazed at how many incredibly talented young people there are in the West of Scotland, and how few genuinely talented people there are elsewhere in the country. The energy and vibrancy of the Gaelic culture is something I simply cannot get enough of.

LANGUAGE

Unlike most popular languages learned in the UK (eg French, German, Spanish), Gaelic is a Celtic language and not a Romance language. It is totally and utterly different. This difference, and the difficulites it often presents, only serves to act as an incentive to 'keep going' on those all-too-familiar 'Bad Gaelic Days' when nothing ever seems to come out right. Now and again you'll hit on something that makes you explode with that 'Eureka!' feeling before suddenly realising you've become a language geek. For example: 'That is good' in Gaelic is: 'Is math, sin'. That's pronounced: ' 's-mar-shin'. Say it out loud....Smashing! That's why something that is 'smashing' in English is good. Ooh, dab me down with a damp flannel.

RESPECT

It makes my heart bleed to see people move to new places and set up an insular version of their own culture. Think of all those 'Brits Abroad' enclaves in Spain. Think 'Sonnenland', the German town in Gran Canaria. And yes, there are mainlanders and English folk who move to beautiful parts of the Gàidhealtachd and Islands then impose their unsuitable ways on the local traditions and landscape. Call me an ill-informed arrogant self-important twit, but if I'm going to move to the Hebrides - and one day I really hope I will - then to me it is important to learn the local traditions and culture. Even if I remain a perpetual tourist, my enjoyment and understanding will always be far more profound than had I not lifted the lid on the culture and language that the everyday obvious stuff on the surface sometimes conceals.

ACCEPTANCE

As I progress with my journey into Gaelic, 'acceptance' is becoming less and less of a motive. At first, I thought that anyone who spoke Gaelic would be treated and welcomed like a Gael. Two years down the line, I've come to accept that this is a culture that you cannot just learn a few phrases and barge your way into. Gaelic holds no place for Gatecrashers. That said, I've recently found a new group of people that welcome me with open arms. Those people are the 20,000 strong community of Gaelic Learners. The vast majority will always be standing on the sidelines of 'real' Gaelic life, but we find comfort and joy in each other's company.

KEEPING IT GOING

Let's face it, mainly thanks to the arrogant mistakes of the past, Gaelic a language teetering on the brink of dying out. Initiatives over the past 30-odd years are still working hard to stem that decline and start the number of speakers growing again. To lose Gaelic, and everything it holds, would be an absolute tragedy. By doing my little bit, it's helping keep the language afloat until such time its strong enough to really flourish yet again. It took generations to reduce Gaelic to where it is today, so it will take generations to get it back to a mainstream level. But, as the saying goes, Every Little Helps. 


REACTION OF OTHERS

What about the reaction of others?

This has surprised me, massively. The main reactions I've had from people when I say I'm learning Gaelic have been:

Bemusement
Discomfort
Passionate enthusiasm
Hostility.

There, you might not have expected one or two of those, eh?

BEMUSEMENT

This is the main reaction I get from fellow English people. Many of them don't even know what Gaelic is. They generally think that my learning it is a good thing and can only broaden my experience of life. But... well, it's just a bit bonkers, really, isn't it?
'There there, dear.'

DISCOMFORT

This is one reaction I've had from many native Gaelic-speakers. This is a whole open-ended story in itself which will hopefully merit its own blog entry. When first attempting to speak Gaelic with native-speakers that I didn't know, I was slightly taken aback by their silence and weak smiles. It took a while for me to learn that this was not rudeness in any way whatsoever, but a sense of awkwardness and embarrassment. Put it another way...imagine you've spoken a separate 'special' language with only your nearest and dearest for your entire life, and you use a 'formal' language for everyday business with the rest of the world. How would you feel one day if someone from that 'Outside' world spoke to you in your 'special' language for the first time, uninvited?

PASSIONATE ENTHUSIASM

This is the reaction that builds and builds. It mainly comes from people who have, or did have, even the most tenuous link with the promotion of Gaelic. You also get the same reaction from most Learners who are pleased to find another soulmate who 'understands' their struggles and triumphs. These are the people who make it all worthwhile, and these are the people you need to be hanging out with.

HOSTILITY

This is the saddest reaction of all, but thankfully the most rare, but you need to prepare yourself for it. So far, every instance I know of hostility (towards my own learning or that of my peers) has come from somebody Scottish. This has ranged from Gaelic speakers in Lewis and Glasgow to non-Gaelic speakers throughout Scotland. The Gaelic-speaking 'Hostiles' would rather see the language die than be modernised into a teachable form and taught in a formal way. Or, possibly, there is an objection to me, a Sassanach, being privy to their language and culture. I'm pleased to say that the latter has happened only once or twice over two years. Every barrel contains a narrow-minded rotten apple or two. There is also hostility from people outwith the Gaelic-speaking community in Scotland. They see Gaelic as a waste of public money. I image these are the kind of people who see a railway or a bus company as needing to generate profit as a stand-alone company. The truth of the matter is, Gaelic (just like railways and buses) generates income from tenuous connections, maybe not as a direct result of anything. Just imagine if the trains stopped running in Scotland. Commuters and visitors wouldn't easily be able to get to Edinburgh or Glasgow. Businesses and tourists would go to London or Manchester instead, taking their money with them. Same with Gaelic. I dread to think how much money I've pumped into the Scottish economy since that first trip to the Hebrides in 2009, and it's Gaelic that keeps me coming back and injecting more money, be it on tuition fees or on cake. Gaelic helps give Scotland its unique identity which keeps it a top tourist destination in the world, as well as a centre for learning and culture.




So there you have it: the Whys, Wherefores, and the Ups and Downs of the journey into Gaelic. It's like standing at the front of a CalMac Ferry during a rough crossing. You may have to hang on tight and brave the wind and waves, but it's an experience that makes you feel alive and it's a journey you'll never forget.